Anorexia in SLAA

What is anorexia in SLAA?

These 50 questions can help you decide if you are a social, emotional or sexual anorectic. There is no score for theses questions. Your own instincts will tell you to what degree they apply to you.

1. Do you go for long periods without being involved in a sexual or romantic relationship?

2. Do you go without social activities for extended periods of time?

3. Although in a relationship, have you found that, for a long while, you have not experienced: romance? sexuality? intimacy? friendship?

4. Are you alone more than you want, but feel unable to change that?

5. At work do you have trouble developing relationships?

6. Do you avoid relationships with a certain gender?

7. Do you stay aloof when in groups?

8. Are you afraid of being noticed?

9. Does being in the presence of others exhaust you?

10. Do you habitually panic or push people away when they start getting close?

11. Do you usually try to withdraw from or completely control emotions?

12. Do you feel uncomfortable when offered nurturing?

13. Do you usually dread encountering someone to whom you are attracted?

14. Do you feel safer when a relationship remains at the level of flirting and intrigue?

15. Do you feel a deep pessimism about your ability to experience lasting intimate relationships?

16. Are you continually attracted to people who don’t meet your needs?

17. Are you afraid to relax around people because you fear it might lead to a sexual situation?

18. Do you fantasize about having a relationship without actually pursuing a relationship?

19. Do your sexual habits, masturbation for instance, keep you from relationships?

20. Anhedonia means the refusal to receive or give pleasure. Do you practice it?

21. Do you regularly disown your physical and emotional need for others?

22. Do you have a hard time playing and having fun with others?

23. Is it so difficult for you to set healthy boundaries with others that you withdraw completely?

24. Does everything have to be perfect before you get involved?

25. Do you envy more outgoing people?

26. Do you feel your demonstrativeness is inauthentic?

27. Does shame about your life cause you to avoid relationships?

28. Do you use your feelings of superiority or inferiority to set yourself apart from others?

29. Do you think that no healthy, attractive person or group of people would want someone like you?

30. Do you have a hard time letting people know you care about them?

31. Do you think you are not “enough” – smart enough, attractive enough, old enough, young enough, successful enough, healthy enough, _______ enough to deserve a relationship?

32. Do you stay in relationships because you feel you don’t deserve anything better or can’t have anything different?

33. Do you find it overwhelmingly difficult to show emotion or to tell the truth to someone you wish to be involved with?

34. Do you drive others away by coldness? aggression? timidity?

35.Do you prefer being alone, rather than question the choices that keep you alone?

36. Is your fear of rejection or of looking foolish so intense that you seem to be permanently stuck?

37. Do you suspect that your capacity to move toward intimacy with another is damaged or dead?

38. Do you have an overwhelming fear of being socially, sexually, or emotionally, exploited or used?

39. Do you usually feel resentful or envious toward people who have intimate relationships or active social lives?

40. Do you find sex repugnant?

41. Do you feel sex is only for healthy people and will therefore never be for you?

42. Are you more open to people you cannot be sexually close to?

43. When you do date someone, do you set a time limit beforehand on how long you will date that person?

44. Are you tied to your family of origin to the exclusion of others?

45. Are you mainly attracted to unavailable people?

46. Do you consider it not worth the trouble to engage with others because past experiences have been threatening or painful – especially if others want to get close to you?

47. Do you feel more comfortable or more in control when you decline sex or relationship or social invitations?

48. Are you habitually more open to strangers than those you are close to?

49. Do you feel so different from others that you are afraid no one can care about you or understand you?

50. Do you feel that love is missing from your life, yet don’t know what to do about it?

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